The Fear Of Failure

Fear, Failure, life, Rise

Fear of Failure leads to Failure – Paul Cohelo

Failure has always been by my side like a very very close friend. I am on the other side of the 30s now and life hasn’t exactly panned out the way I had envisioned it. For days I have pondered and wondered that why things just never went my way. This created a lot of self -doubt and disbelief in my own abilities.

There have been days where I have locked myself up in the room thinking why does it all have to go wrong?  People who know me well enough will tell you that

He will always leave things halfway through.

I really don’t think that I lacked determination or the will to go all the way. From relations to work life, it’s always been the story.

Early Life

I first held a cricket bat in my hand when I was a 4-year-old boy. My focus while growing up was always cricket. But never was I pressurized that I have to make it to the competitive level. Maybe my parents had realized it earlier that he might be talented but may not have the resilience of going the long distance.

cricket bat pose

As a kid, I was ecstatic to play with people almost twice my age. Our coach must have spotted something in me and may be that’s why he had directly put me to train with the senior team.

We were coached by Avi Sir, a well- known figure in the cricketing fraternity at Dadar.  An avid cricketer, who had missed an opportunity to make it to the national side at the last minute due to an injury. But he did not give up, instead, he focused on training youngsters like me to fulfill their dreams. We were just 12 then.

The Fear Of Failure

This is where my destiny with failures began. I cannot fully say failure but a cowardly behaviour which lead to the foundation of the many failures to come. Our team was a part of a cricket tournament and we had reached the finals. On the day of the finals, as our team reached the ground I saw our opponents who I felt were a much stronger team.

I was intimidated by them, a lot was going in my mind at that time.My parents were there to see the team win, to see me play a game I loved. During the practice I faked an injury, I did get some back spasms but not which will put me out of the team. I went up to my coach and informed him I won’t be able to play. That there I think was the nail in the coffin. I sat out that game, we ended up on the winning side.

I could see the disappointment in my parent’s eyes but they never mentioned it to me. They had come to see their son play. Winning or losing didn’t matter.  Right there I had failed them and I had failed myself.  Why I did what I did I would probably never know but I guess the occasion was far bigger than what I had anticipated.

Rise Above It

Today, the present me is not a success that I would like to be but none the less I have managed to put my past failures behind me and emerge successful in front of my eyes.

My success has come in form of body and lifestyle transformation. When you look at it from the larger perspective, it is exactly what life offers. Fear of Failure is on everyone’s mind but be thoughtful and resilient to rise above it and you will emerge a better person. Failure is not the end of it all, but that one step which can transform your life.

fear, failure, rise

The key is not to prove yourself to others but to prove yourself in front of the mirror which you face every single morning.I have managed to prove it to myself that I can outlast and outclass myself by mere self -determination and sacrifices, good things and results take time. So be thoughtful and resilient to rise above it and you will emerge a better person.

Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently- Henry Ford


20 thoughts on “The Fear Of Failure”

  1. I don’t really fear failure because I don’t really see ANYTHING as failing at this point in my life. Looking at life in that way really helps you not get down on yourself.

  2. I actually don’t mind failing because I learn from it whenever I fail. I think more people need to look at failure as a learning experience.

  3. I suffered from just the opposite. I remember a few decades ago sitting with a friend having dinner. She was a psychologist and I was bitching about something. She said I suffered with fear of success. I thought she was going to go into some deep evaluation, instead she told me I had to make a decision – either get over myself and succeed or hold myself back. At first I was kind of pissed that that was all she had to offer. A few days later I realized she was right.

  4. I know a few people that have let their fear of failure stop them from doing great things. I try not to let fear stop me. I harness that energy and use it for good.

  5. I don’t think failure ever crossed my mind. I played one sport in high school and wasn’t very good but I liked it. I play in music and some competitions were better then others but it still wasn’t a big deal. I guess my attitude came from my parents. They didn’t encourage me to win so it was never a goal or motivation and I lacked the self motivation to excel.

  6. It’s always about the journey & there are always going to be failures along the way. I suppose we can’t really enjoy success, if it weren’t for the failure. Instead of fearing failure, you should probably embrace it & make it productive, which is what I see you have done! 🙂

  7. I’ve definitely had times in my life where I’ve felt I let myself down. But as others have said, I think of them as opportunities to learn about myself and what I would do differently in a similar situation if given a chance. Congrats on your progress, and thank you for sharing yourself so openly!
    Ms. Finks |

  8. Congratulations on the moving towards your fitness and other goals in your life. Failure can be a motivator but you cannot fear it. Failure is an example of how things should change in the future.

  9. I completely understand what you mean – I too have this looming fear of failure, fear of disappointing people (mostly my parents) 🙁 I think the only way to learn is to fail though, sadly x

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