Making Peace with Your Past

 

It’s been more than a few years now since I have actually taken out time to retrospect on how my life has panned out.

Have you ever tried to look back at your past and then getting lost in the small stories which eventually shaped you up?

So last week I made conscious decision to look back at how my life has evolved over the years. The idea here was not to see how good or bad my life has been, but merely a way to say to myself that

Look, this is your life story and no one but you are responsible for it

A Past to Remember?

As I was reminiscing the yesteryear’s I realised that I  made few terrible choices and mistakes. But at the same time, there were many decisions of my life which turned out to be good. So is there a point to look back and keep wondering and thinking how we could have done something better to change the way we are living now?

My answer to this question is that there is no point in looking back and then regretting or cursing yourself on how your current life has shaped up. Rather when you are drawn to your past, encourage your mind to say that there is a reason why all this is in the past. You smile about it or even cry about it but never let what you did in your past affect the decision making in your present stage. When you look back and reflect on everything that has happened in our past, we learn to move forward It is only when you can ever make peace with your past.

You Make Peace with Your  Past by owning your Piece of the past. – Andy Stanley

The Fear Of Failure

Fear of Failure leads to Failure – Paul Cohelo

Failure has always been by my side like a very very close friend. I am on the other side of the 30s now and life hasn’t exactly panned out the way I had envisioned it. For days I have pondered and wondered that why things just never went my way. This created a lot of self -doubt and disbelief in my own abilities.

There have been days where I have locked myself up in the room thinking why does it all have to go wrong?  People who know me well enough will tell you that

He will always leave things halfway through.

I really don’t think that I lacked determination or the will to go all the way. From relations to work life, it’s always been the story.

Early Life

I first held a cricket bat in my hand when I was a 4-year-old boy. My focus while growing up was always cricket. But never was I pressurized that I have to make it to the competitive level. Maybe my parents had realized it earlier that he might be talented but may not have the resilience of going the long distance.

cricket bat pose

As a kid, I was ecstatic to play with people almost twice my age. Our coach must have spotted something in me and may be that’s why he had directly put me to train with the senior team.

We were coached by Avi Sir, a well- known figure in the cricketing fraternity at Dadar.  An avid cricketer, who had missed an opportunity to make it to the national side at the last minute due to an injury. But he did not give up, instead, he focused on training youngsters like me to fulfill their dreams. We were just 12 then.

The Fear Of Failure

This is where my destiny with failures began. I cannot fully say failure but a cowardly behaviour which lead to the foundation of the many failures to come. Our team was a part of a cricket tournament and we had reached the finals. On the day of the finals, as our team reached the ground I saw our opponents who I felt were a much stronger team.

I was intimidated by them, a lot was going in my mind at that time.My parents were there to see the team win, to see me play a game I loved. During the practice I faked an injury, I did get some back spasms but not which will put me out of the team. I went up to my coach and informed him I won’t be able to play. That there I think was the nail in the coffin. I sat out that game, we ended up on the winning side.

I could see the disappointment in my parent’s eyes but they never mentioned it to me. They had come to see their son play. Winning or losing didn’t matter.  Right there I had failed them and I had failed myself.  Why I did what I did I would probably never know but I guess the occasion was far bigger than what I had anticipated.

Rise Above It

Today, the present me is not a success that I would like to be but none the less I have managed to put my past failures behind me and emerge successful in front of my eyes.

My success has come in form of body and lifestyle transformation. When you look at it from the larger perspective, it is exactly what life offers. Fear of Failure is on everyone’s mind but be thoughtful and resilient to rise above it and you will emerge a better person. Failure is not the end of it all, but that one step which can transform your life.

fear, failure, rise

The key is not to prove yourself to others but to prove yourself in front of the mirror which you face every single morning.I have managed to prove it to myself that I can outlast and outclass myself by mere self -determination and sacrifices, good things and results take time. So be thoughtful and resilient to rise above it and you will emerge a better person.

Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently- Henry Ford